Why can't I figure out what I want? It's like I get it.. I'm working on my trauma but, now I can't seem to move where I wanna go. OH WAIT! The problem is I don't know where I wanna go. So how do I move with no direction? I don't know.. Maybe I'll just explode into a river of blood. Then again people tell me I'm great & I'm over here looking back like, 'Damn I was great' but, why can't I be great now.
Or will I look back on now & say 'I was great then'.
Just looking back and waiting. I assume that's my trauma.

You know since my mind exploded last year I've had the worst sleep paralysis alot since I got raped by that demon the night it exploded. Sucks. I need to figure that shit out. My shit is just on an endless loop now. I'm like ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM but, not moving. I was so much better off burying and ignoring my promblems.